RUTHY FUNG

I FINALLY resigned from my telemarketing job after being there for exactly 6 months!! Many of you reading this might be thinking.. Wat?? u quit your job in the middle of a global recession? U must be crazy!! The thing is…u do not understand my situation.. If i don’t quit i won’t be able to move on. Tat’s simply becoz i have no time to apply for other jobs, i can’t pick up phone calls during work time which means i can’t attend interviews. And this means i can’t get a better job. I will be stuck thee forever..Anyways, i have learnt much from working here. This job have open my eyes to so much more of the real world..accepting people for who they are eg lesbians, gays, transexuals. backstabbers in the workplace, a place where God can mould my character, having the fruits of the Holy Spirit even when people abuse you. heaps of patience and make myself feel better when ppl reject me..The last 6 months have probably been the toughest time of my life..it was even worst than national service, even worst than the time i was sick and had to be in hospital. All i can say is that God put me through this so that i can be prepared for what lies ahead in the future. If i can do telemarketing for 6 months, i can do any job in the world!hehe.. It’s time for me to move on to the next job. If you are reading this, please pray for me to find a new job! It is a huge step of faith i am taking here..I’m sure God will bless me with a better job! Otherwise, there’s always uni to fall back on hahah! Thanks to those who have been here for me for the past 6 months! Really appreciated it..=) And thanks to all who came to celebrate my resignation! ehehhe..Love u all Joseph 3 lifegroup!

Wow, it’s been ages since i last blogged. Many have asked me to continue..since i have the time today, i shall blog!=) UPdates with me..

1) Graduating very soon!I’m sprinting towards the finishing line..one more exam..hopefully all i pass all my units lah..don’t wanna say so loud first..exam results not out yet=P

2) Recently, God added another sheep under my care..I’m learning to lay down my life for His flock. Many times i feel that i am not capable to take care of 3 sheep. There are times when i am tired of ministry, and this song really encourages me. It’s Thank You by Ray Boltz.

3) Seeking for God’s vision for my life. Lately, God laid a burden in my heart.. I was on the bus when there this child sitting in his pram facing me. My heart cries for this child. He’s sick, he’s got some kind of disease. Tears came rolling down my cheeks..I have a passion for disabled kids/orphans..These kids really need You.. they just look so pure and innocent, but so helpless..my heart cries..

God has been doing many wonderful things in my life! The thing is..am i willing to trust God in all circumstances? esepcially when things don’t go my way.. I was just reminded by mum again about going to national service. Man, just the thoughts of going to national service is painful. I sorta put it on the shelf since i was 17.

I was like..yeah, i got selected but i have many more important things in front of me. Finishing high school, goin to uni and actually graduating from uni. Guess what, time passed so fast! I could still remember the day i was still using dial-up Internet at home, logging in to the PKLN website, hoping that i didn’t get chosen. But guess what, God has a better plan.

Lately, I’ve just been seeking God and for His direction about NS. I have 3 options. To go to NS at the end of this month or in Dec, give corruption (not advisable but i did think about it), escape from it completely(and supposedly go to jail). Out of the three, personally i think the best choice is to go to NS at the end of this month.. But i would have to ask for 2 weeks exemption becoz my exams finish on the 24th, and NS starts on the 14th. And after that, i can focus on getting a job and moving on with life. If i don’t go..then this NS thing will always be at the back of my head..

About giving corruption..hm..i think i’m quite blessed to live in a comfortable family. I think dad can pay it off. However, i want to honor God and believe this is not the right way. Malaysian government is really in need of money now..they will definately let me go if dad pays..but..no!!

To escape from it..they can’t track me down rite..i’m in Aust! But we should obey the authority that God has put over us. Malaysian Government is GOd’s anointed and God’s chosen people..to be leaders in Malaysia. i will obey…even though it’s hard..Obedience is better than sacrifice..

I really don’t want to go.. But i believe GOd has a plan and a purpose for me to go to NS. Of all the people who were born in 1986, 20% were chosen and i am one of them. I believe the Government did not randomly pick me, but this is truly God’s plan that i go.

On the positive side, I can reach out to the students, i can even suggest them to come to QUT(university for the real world), esp those in dilemma, not knowing what to do after NS..and bring them to Christ! woohoo..! I’m sure Daniel 1 awaits them..=) On the other hand, i have so many doubts..Many have drowned, many have died, many were injured, some were raped in NS. Many thoughts came, what if i die? I haven’t fulfil what God has want me to do on this earth yet! What will happen to my 3 abandoned sheep in Brisbane? What about sub-district advance, CCM, discussion group etc etc. Do i have to move out? What about my graduation ceremony that i have been waiting for so long? There’s so much i have to let go..and so many worries.

As i prayed and seeked God during my quiet time.. I believe God is in control of everything. He created the heavens and the earth. What is too difficult for Him? God said..’Don’t you believe that i will take care of everything? Matt 6:34 says ‘Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry itself.’ Praise the Lord..He is in control.

Mum just sent in the letter to see if i could go to NS at the end of this month..with 2 weeks exemption..Pls pray with me..that God will open the way if He wants me to go this time..If all goes well, I will go…willingly, that is=) Just wanna encourage all of you..when things don’t go your way..trust God..!

For those who know me well, you will know that going out for evax is probably not what i’m good at. I always wonder, if other people can do it, why can’t i? I’m no different rite? Going out for evax has always been a challenge for me. I don’t talk to strangers easily, it takes a lot of courage and boldness to talk to someone i do not already know. Someone once commented ‘If people don’t know you, they will think you are not friendly’. I thought about it..it is true! I gel very well with people i already know.. but it takes a lot of effort to talk to strangers. Yes that’s me.

I decided since talking to strangers is not my area, i would focus on friendship evangelism. I have this group mate, whom i have known for 3 weeks. A friend from our lifegroup also knows her. I thought about it on the weekend and i wanna invite her to lifegroup. I talked to her about it and she said she will come! She needs a life changing experience -  she needs God! Pray that she won’t change her mind about coming to our impact week next week. Pray with me…

My thighs are so sore! We had Amazing G-race. It’s sorta like the tv series amazing race except this one is just 2 zones around Brisbane. I was in a team with 4 other friends. It’s very interesting to see how people with different personalities work together. My goal was to win the race. One team member’s goal was to go around Brisbane, looking at new places. Another one was to have a fun time with each other. It’s so hard to work together when everyone was doing the same task, but we weren’t working towards the same goals. It is just amazing to see how God put people with different personalities and different characters together in a church to build God’s house. The difference in church is, or rather, our church, everyone is working towards the same goal. We share the same vision. I learnt something today, accept one another for who they are. It does not matter if they’re a choleric, sanguine, melancholy or a phlegmatic! They are all equal in God’s eyes. I’m super duper exhausted, goin to recharge my body soon!

Kim was rostered to cook pasta tonite. Due to some reasons, she couldn’t come to lifegroup. I decided to bring pasta for her instead. And there was me, wanting to try something new, so i decided to make carbonara sauce with pasta. It was my first time making carbonara sauce from scratch, so i wasn’t exactly sure how to cook it. I’ve seen my cousin cooked it though, but i kinda forgotten the steps coz it’s been a while already. Anyways, i cooked the sauce wrongly, i put the egg in while the milk was boiling hot. Guess what? It turned out to be scramble egg with bacon sauce on pasta. Man, i felt so upset after. I even had tears in my eyes. I had to call my ’si fu’, Don, to ask for advise. He said my steps are wrong, that’s why it became scramble eggs instead of the egg blending nicely with the milk. Was debating whether i should bring it to life group or throw it all away. I made a decision, i brought it to life group and praise God, people actually liked it. I hope they really mean it when they said they liked it, and not just saying it to please my ears. I am so glad they finished my pasta. God sees my heart, i will do better next time. It is my imperfections that make me so human! Here’s a pic of the pasta.jpg i made. Don’t laugh!

Last night, after the whole HOT POT party, i was sitting in my room, like usual, in front of the computer using MSN to chat with my friends overseas. Someone knocked on my door, so i was like ‘Come in’. Surprise surprise, guess who it was? Steph. She walked in and she was like ‘Ruth, i’m sorry.’ I was like ‘for what?’ *Trying to re-call if she did anything wrong to me* And she said, ‘i don’t know’. And then we got distracted and talked about something else. My point is… I can see the humility in her. Sometimes, it is hard for me to say sorry even though i know i have done something wrong. It’s called pride. There are times when i think i am better than others. There are times when i think i am so good, i may not say it out loud but i do think it in my head. haha. From today onwards, i shall put God first, others second and myself last! Yes, i shall start practising it today. James 4:6 says ‘God gives grace to the humble and opposes the proud.’ I pray that God will take away any pride in me and replace it with humility.

Our church is going through a series of faith right now. At the same time, I reckon God is putting me through a season of faith. Everything seems to be so tough. But as long as we have that faith as small as a mustard seed, we can move mountains! First, i have a boss who have no mercy whatsoever on me. Second, my results came out and i failed one of my exam. No clue why because i was actually quite confident with that paper.  I have to fully depend on God and trust Him especially during this tough time when nothing seemed to be okay. I went to work 2 days ago and guess what? My boss complimented me. Man, i was over the moon. He said that i am better than this other new girl who has worked more hours than i have, she also has 1 year experience in waitressing. I started to ‘fly’. Haha. I’m glad my relationship with my boss is getting better and better. Praise God for all He has done for me! Also, i went to QUT today to speak to my lecturer about my exam. He said he has reviewed my paper and he is happy to give me a pass! Wow! Isn’t God amazing? I didn’t even have to do anything, God has done everything! All i had to do was pray! God is faithful to us when we are faithful to Him! Only God can make the impossible possible!

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. –Galatians 5:22-23

Lately, I’ve been getting annoyed at the smallest things. Many things seem to get on my nerves. I realised i am the most impatient person in the whole wide world. Ok maybe i’m exagerating. You get my drift. I get annoyed when people come late to meet me. I get annoyed when people do things slower than i expect. I get irritated when people don’t do things straight away what they’ve been told to do. By nature, everything i do is ‘chop chop’. Everything has to be done quick and fast. My definition of now is RIGHT NOW, not 2 minutes later.

God has been speaking to me about patience recently. I was so frustrated few days ago because the program was taking forever to download. I told my friend that and he said to me ‘Be patienttt larrrrrrrr’. Wow! That really hit me…straight through my heart! I was thinking to myself ‘Am i really that impatient?’ Probably. And this morning, i was on my way to uni on the bus when every traffic light that we had to go through was a red light! I was so annoyed! Of course i didn’t say it out loud but deep inside i’m thinking..’FASTER bah!’ Not like the traffic light will turn green if i tell it to. I pray that i can have more patience. Patience to serve God, to listen to other people’s problems, and not for my own selfish reasons. I shall start practising patience from today. It won’t be easy, but i am willing to grow in this area. Mum always say, ‘If there is a WILL, there is a WAY’. Praise God for that!

I thought i prepared well for my exam yesterday. But.. when i saw the first exam question, i was stunned. My head went blank. I lost confidence and there goes my whole paper. I did really badly. I hope i did not fail my exam. All I could do now is let God do the rest. I can’t really change my answers anymore. What has been done, is already done. The devil has been putting many many thoughts into my mind. It feels like all my dreams are shattered, my mind scattered with horrible thoughts, my world crumbling down. Feels like the end of the world. It was so hard for me to overcome these thoughts. It’s a struggle. A BIG BIG struggle. At times like this, when i am weak and vulnerable, it is so easy for the devil to pull me down. When i praised God today, it feels like it is not from my heart, but merely from my mouth. I NEED to overcome! I CAN overcome! All i can do now is pray and pray and pray. And focus on my next exam paper and not how badly i did yesterday. Please pray for me. Praise God for His promise.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. –John 14:27